Infinite Loops

Having survived my third cycle of college, with the stressful bonds of academia severed, I am filled with excitement and rife with ideas for what to do with my free time, yet for some reason I can't seem to shake off this looming frustration that has been ailing me.

Looking down at my hands and questioning the sky, I find my limited knowledge is not substantial enough to grasp the answers to my worries. I usually hit this wall, of being unable to obtain, in the middle of the night when my hands run out of things to do and my mind keeps wondering. By nature, I've been known to over think things. I believe this is why I'm good at design. Though, in situations like these I wish I could just switch it off instead of trapping myself in infinite loops.

When being in the same city never felt further apart. Why? The answer is hard to obtained when the question itself is a mood killer. It's not like it's easy to make contact when the replies are delayed. In it's wake, the fear of being overbearing. To be ignored hurts a billion times more then being told off. Hard work without recognition. My jealousy. All this passive aggressive bullshit. Not being able to celebrate. Feelings I can't avoid.

To what extent, am I supposed to wait for time? All my quarries are immediate, but the answers come at a snails pace. Perhaps there is another reason, another way. Maybe this is unavoidable. I'm unsure of what I'm doing, but it's all that I can do.